Lost in translation - Alan Castaneda

The Rush

I am living the big city routine in my way. I am from El Grullo Jalisco, a small town located in Mexico, a town where people can’t do that much because there is not a lot of places to explore. Even though my hometown is technically called a city, I consider it a town because it is small, to the point where a lot of people know each other. People who I have talked to from my hometown say that living in a place like that feels like being judged all the time, and they can’t do things or dress in a certain way because people always look at them. Some are afraid of what others will think. When I moved to Chicago two years ago, I was surprised in a good way, because here I could feel like that fear of being judged doesn’t exist. Even though there is a big population, I felt I could be the real me and that I have lost the fear of being judged. Moving from a town to a big city means adapting, changing routines and maybe even the way of dressing. 

Something that I liked when I first arrived was that I could wear anything I wanted. It was as if I was in a movie, where the main character is finally free and starts a new life. I started to do things that would have been seen negatively back in my hometown. I was constantly experimenting with clothes. I remember one time when I thrifted a really big pair of jeans that could fit almost two of me. When I wore them for the first time, no one was looking at me the way some people from my hometown would look at me if I wore something like that there. That was when I realized I could experiment with clothes as if I was a scientist doing an experiment in his laboratory. I even started cropping pieces of clothes to make them look the way I wanted. I started to appreciate the different ways that people style their clothes instead of judging. Growing up in a place where people constantly give weird looks to someone wearing something considered different made me sometimes do that as well. When I moved to Chicago, I really changed my mind about that. If I don’t like something, it doesn’t mean it has to be bad. Now making an outfit to me means expressing my mood of that day, or even my personality. One time I saw a guy wearing a pair of jeans that were tight, but loose at the bottom. It was some kind of a bootcut, but not exactly like that. If I had seen that three or four years ago, I would have thought that it looked weird, but I really like that style now. I have changed. 

Despite the fact that I’m comfortable with the style, not everything has been so easy. Getting used to the education system of the United States has been a little difficult for me. It’s not like something from another world, but when I have a routine, I start to do things automatically. Changing that drastically made me feel like I was lost. I felt like I was the only person that was confused. When I started to meet people, I realized I was not the only person that was confused, or the only one that was trying to adapt. The first friend I met, Jamil, was as confused as me. He had moved from Ecuador, and that made me feel like I was not alone. Socializing in school is another thing I’m getting used to as well. I have met other great people in college but studying and working means being kind of in a hurry, so it has been difficult to have long talks and hang out with friends. Recently, the restaurant where I used to work closed, so now that I don’t have a job, I feel strange not being in a hurry all the time. I guess I’m starting to adapt now, I think feeling free but also being constantly in a rush is part of the big city routine. 

Adapting to this lifestyle is something that I could have never expected when I was in Mexico. I also think that people never finish adapting. Everything around us is constantly changing every day, things like fashion, language, and customs are always evolving. A change in life doesn’t always have to be bad.