Cause and effect——Qianmin Li

         My Parents’s Choice 

            In 2000, most people who lived in the countryside did not have money or only worked in the fields. The rural government proposed letting young people go to the developed big cities because of the factory openings. I lived in the countryside, which was really poor and people did not have too many career opportunities in that period. Old people said that as long as a family has a young person who goes out, then this will represent family hope in life. Therefore, at that time there was a word to describe me, and that was left-behind children. My parents left me in my grandparents' house, and they moved to the big city to earn money. This event influenced me, my grandparents and my family. 

 One of the effects was that I lost spending time with my parents and became more independent. When I was child, I only saw my parents once a year. Regardless of how big the holiday or my birthday was, my parents did not come back. In elementary school, my classmates' parents always picked them up or attended their parent meeting. I often wondered why their parents could be with them, but my parents could not. As I got older, I started to feel that my parents' presence was not important to me because I had a lot of friends that I could talk to. Moreover, I became more independent when I was a teenager. I started boarding school in seventh grade until the end of college. In those days, I always tried to do anything I could do to earn some extra money such as I used to be a piano tutor since high school to cover my living expenses. 

In addition, my grandparents had more burdens and became my emotional dependence. They lived in the countryside, so they needed to farm and take care of me when I did not go to school. I always followed them to the field, and they still needed to look after me. Once when my grandparents were busy, I took out a lighter that my grandfather had and accidentally set the whole field on fire. The people nearby came to help us put out the fire. I was scared and I cried, but my grandparents did not reproach me. However, people who lived in this countryside heard about the fire. Some of the children were the same age as me and made a joke about saying this child has no parents just because they never saw my parents. Thus, my grandparents went to argue with their parents. Until now, I have never heard the word "no parents child" again. My grandparents are like the sunshine in my life and warmth of my childhood.

Although my parents and I immigrated to Chicago and live together now, we still have a lot of arguments. We did not live together for a long time until we moved to Chicago. I felt strange and unfree. They never trust me to do the right thing. In their view, they think I am still a child, so they set a limit to what I could do, how I could dress, and what time I had to go home. Maybe they think this will help them make up for my childhood, but they forget I am an adult already. Time will change everything including lost love, and I believe we can solve some of the problems we have now and have a better life in the future. 

My parents' choice affected my life for a long time, and this brought me some inevitable impact. I never blamed the choice that my parents made because I know their purpose was just to want me to have a better life. On the other hand, this event also made me have a good and strong personality. People cannot control economic development and change, so I know if I restart in 2000, I am still a left-behind child. However, I am lucky I have good grandparents that protected my childhood.